Perspective

A co-worker lost her father today.

An attempt to fathom what she’s going through right now brings quick tears to my eyes. Two days before Christmas, trying to earn a few extra holiday dollars at work, and then she gets a call….

This bubbly, genuine young woman I’ve enjoyed getting to know was suddenly facing one of the toughest days of her life right in front of me.  I certainly don’t pride myself on being a great comforter. My tear ducts are subject to being overwhelmed with empathetic precipitation and so I typically avoid situations where sympathetic etiquette is required. Quite simply, I’m a you-hurt-I-hurt type of person. Babies cry and my throat starts to close. I’ve certainly viewed it as a curse not an endearing characteristic. However, today was an exception. My first reaction was to pull her into a tight embrace and tell her how sorry I was while tears streamed down both our faces. In that moment I would have done anything to take away the terrible pain that accompanied her loss. I’m only an acquaintance to this pain as I myself have never lost anyone close to me, but I’ve watched this pain appear on dozens of faces in my lifetime and I’ve witnessed many families lose someone dear to them. Its not easy no matter where you stand.

This week I’ve been struggling with my own issues: distance, mixed emotions, bitterness, confusion, doubt, emotional stress, a bad attitude and private tantrums. I haven’t been in the “holiday spirit” and I’ve been flawlessly avoiding any questions that might reveal to anyone that I’ve had a rough week. The past two days I’ve been angry and scared, uncertain and anxious, and honestly trying to figure out how to deal with not getting my way.

Today I was forced to put my life in perspective. This week I was being a class act brat – a 23 year old equivalent to stomping feet and exhaustive pouting. I felt hurt and confused and frustrated at how everything was suddenly thrown off it’s imaginary track leaving me stranded without any means of navigation.

But not even twelve hours ago a young woman was crying in my arms at the loss of her father and it wasn’t until that moment I realized nothing else mattered. In that moment everything else became insignificant, especially myself.

The rest of the day I prayed for her and her family and I thanked God for everything and everyone I have in my life. Everything from my emphysmatic transportation to my college education and everyone from my mother and best friend Marsha to the kind strangers I served today at RiRa. My bad attitude vanished and every bitter feeling and ounce of doubt I was consumed with transformed into patience and gratitude. My sincerity returned and I recognized that every struggle is an opportunity to be grateful.

So this holiday season, I pray for everyone else who is going through a difficult time. Just know that even if you don’t have all the answers right now, recognize what you do have and be constantly thankful for it.

Love,

Moxie_525

Advertisement